March 2011
7 posts
Mar 21st
1 tag
“Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I just want my tombstone to simply say,...”
Mar 16th
Mar 12th
1 tag
Headline: Grown Adult Actually Expects To Be Happy
  NORMAL, IL—According to incredulous sources, local hardware store employee and grown adult human being Rob Peterson, 37, actually expects to be happy in life. Peterson, who is not a small child, believes he can and should lead a happy life. Despite possessing a fully developed brain and a general awareness of the fundamental nature of existence, sources said Peterson apparently...
Mar 11th
Mar 10th
1 tag
"Only assholes use Twitter, right guys?"
Mar 9th
Mar 4th
February 2011
12 posts
1 tag
Feb 28th
Headline:"NASA Completes 52-Year Mission To Find,... →
Feb 27th
Feb 25th
ET 2 →
Feb 23rd
Feb 16th
Feb 15th
1 tag
Feb 14th
Feb 13th
1 tag
WatchWatch
Harry is such a stupid name.
Feb 12th
Feb 11th
1 tag
Hip Hop Boasts Timeline
1983 — Rhyming skils 1993 — Committing crimes 2003 — Owning possessions 2011 — Making Sound business decisions
Feb 10th
1 tag
WatchWatch
Feb 1st
January 2011
14 posts
1 tag
Jan 31st
"Stand up, Chuck, let 'em see ya!"
Vice President Joe Biden, to wheelchair-bound Missouri Senator Chuck Graham Maybe he knew something we didn’t.
Jan 30th
1 tag
"Bye, Harry. Have a good weekend. Don't be an...
Jan 29th
"We will call and remind you of Harry's surgery...
Emailing the animal hospital to get my dog Ralphie neutered, they made a clerical error…
Jan 28th
1 tag
"I'll probably be so relaxed, I'll just pee my...
On living in Vermont.
Jan 27th
1 tag
"THEY CUT ME OPEN WITH KNIVES SO THAT YOU COULD...
Jan 25th
1 tag
"I think I'll stay home today."
Jan 19th
1 tag
"Astrological signs have shifted! Think of all the...
Jan 15th
1 tag
"Just found out my new Zodiac sign. Looks like I...
Jan 14th
1 tag
Jan 11th
1 tag
Irony:
“I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncle’s pull-out couch.”
Jan 10th
Tosh.0 →
Jan 6th
Jan 4th
1 tag
"Just because I'm a man doesn't mean I'm not more...
Jan 3rd
December 2010
5 posts
Dec 28th
Dec 27th
Dec 3rd
1 tag
"The Shamwow guy is latino. Anyone who thinks you...
Dec 2nd
1 tag
Headline: "Universe Admits To Wronging Area Man...
Dec 1st
November 2010
9 posts
Was woman drunk? →
Nov 17th
Nov 11th
Nov 9th
Nov 8th
1 tag
"Whenever a cop in a movie gets busted down to...
Nov 6th
'Not Quite Perfect' McDonald's Opens In Illinois...
MAY 11, 2005 | ISSUE 41•19 GURNEE, IL—Hungry shoppers at the Gurnee Mills outlet mall can now get a name-brand lunch at a bargain-basement price, thanks to the Monday opening of McDonald’s first “Not Quite Perfect” outlet store, offering imperfect and irregular items from the fast-food giant’s menu. The new outlet store. “It’s true that consistency is part...
Nov 5th
Nov 4th
1 tag
WatchWatch
The auto-tune cry is the best. I feel bad for the original auto-tune cry online.
Nov 3rd
Nov 2nd
October 2010
24 posts
1 tag
"You fuck with me, you fuck with everybody in the...
Oct 30th
1 tag
"Twilight. The story of a young woman's choice to...
Oct 28th
1 tag
"Another Robin died today. Vat of acid. I'm really...
Oct 27th